Steve Kamb from Nerd Fitness here - just reminding you to add this new email ( steve@stevekamb.com ) to your address book and move this email to your “primary inbox!” to make sure you never miss a newsletter… okay!
On to the newsletter!
Today we’re going to talk about decisions.
In last week’s newsletter, “Great news: you can’t have it all,” I talked about my struggles with always feeling behind, even on my fun leisure activities, and my naive belief that it was a productivity problem:
“I believed if I could just craft my schedule a certain way or focus on the right projects, it would solve this problem I have of constantly feeling behind.”
It took years and a lot of inner work to move away from this feeling of being behind. Slowly, I've shifted towards a new feeling:
Acceptance.
Specifically, acceptance that I cannot do everything, go everywhere, and accomplish all the things.
No matter how efficient or productive or optimized we are, there will always be too much to do, too many great movies to watch, too many places to travel, too many hobbies to enjoy.
It’s this fact that makes life valuable and gives meaning to our choices.
In response to my last newsletter, I received dozens and dozens of emails from people who shared their past goals or current hobbies they were finally able to let go of. It helped spark even more ideas that you may find helpful.
The Circle of Life: Acceptance for the Win!
The reply that put the biggest smile on my face came from David, whose daughter has been listening to The Lion King soundtrack on repeat. He pointed out “The Circle of Life” covers all of this in its lyrics!
“From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done.
…There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found.”
The first 4 minutes of the Lion King is the greatest opening to any film in history, and gives me goosebumps every time. I’ve seen the film dozens of times; I’ve seen the Broadway musical, and I’ve watched Hans Zimmer perform “The Circle of Life” live with a full orchestra.
And yet, I never actually paid attention to these lyrics closely! Thanks for the reminder, David.
So, we’re all on the same page that we can’t do it all, be it all, and there’s no shortage of amazing things to live, read, do and experience…
Where does that leave us? But HOW do I decide?
A few people asked the following, which I totally resonate with.
“I know I can’t do it all. But even then, how the heck do I choose what to spend my time on?”
I’m just a 40-year old nerd on a journey, but here are a few ways and thoughts that have helped me make different decisions when I feel paralyzed with the options or overwhelmed.
"If this was my last year to live, would I still be doing this?"
Philosopher and neuroscientist Sam Harris shared the question, “If this was my last year to live, would I still be doing this?” on a recent podcast episode.
He’s using it as a guiding principle for how he spends his time in 2025, and how it can help short circuit the parts of his brain that might go on auto-pilot:
“Would I watch a terrible movie by myself? No. But would I watch that same terrible movie with my daughters if they love it? Yes.”
Similarly, comedian Jerry Seinfeld talks about how life isn’t just about “quality time,” it’s about “garbage time” too. “Garbage time” spent with our loved ones or friends can still be a good use of time!
I have this question written down as a post-it note reminder for myself, and I’ve found it to be a helpful little nudge to let go.
It’s allowed me to do a bit of “Swedish Death Cleaning,” if you will.
If I ask myself, “If I only had a year left to live, would I still be doing this?” it can help quiet that part of my brain that always feels like it’s behind, because it sharply pulls things into focus.
This doesn't mean taking a year to start doing hard drugs and driving without a seatbelt.
I would still choose to write this newsletter, and I would still choose to exercise.
But it’s also given me permission to STOP doing things too.
It’s okay to NOT finish a book or TV show that I’m no longer enjoying. Maybe it’s okay that I only play half of a video game and decide “I got the gist,” instead of needing to do every mundane activity to get 100% completion.
It's okay to experience “the joy of missing out” rather than “the fear of missing out.”
It’s okay I don’t spend much time at all on social media or reading the news, and instead choose to make an impact by donating monthly to food shelters, dog shelters, and investigative journalism.
Asking this question semi-regularly can help me at least trim back on the “stuff I’m trying to get through…”
Life is Letting Go
And at the same time, I know that even if I eliminated all the time wasting stuff, it still won’t leave enough time for all the good stuff.
Marie emailed in with something that was a great reminder:
“My mantra became "it's ok to say no to good things", since there will always be more good things than I have time to do.”
And Declan shared this amazing piece, The Art of Giving Up, that hit me right in the heart:
“...life is a process of letting go of your own ego, or letting go of your attachments. Contrary to what one might assume from the connotations of the expression “giving up”, this is done in order to enjoy life more.
…“Giving up,” in this sense, isn’t the same as quitting. My friend was still playing guitar; he just wasn’t pursuing it professionally.”
Life is making thousands of decisions every day.
Even if we do our best to cut out the stuff that’s not fulfilling us…
We still need to develop the courage to accept reality: we’ll never get to all of it, and saying yes to anything means we must be saying no to thousands of other things.
And once we accept we can’t do it all, it adds some value and might make it easier for us to decide how we actually choose to spend our time, and who we choose to spend that time with.
It might give us permission to say no to certain things, or adjust our expectations on others.
After all, as Gandalf tells Frodo: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
That’s what makes life weird and beautiful and meaningful.
I hope these two little lessons can help you make decisions today with more clarity.
Can you do me a favor?
Hit reply on this email and let me know what’s ONE decision you can make today that’s different as a result of reading this!
I read every response, even if it takes me a while to get back to you!
-Steve
PS: Enjoyed this newsletter and want to share it? Copy and paste the following link: https://stevekamb.com/how-to-decide-what-to-do-today/
